During all our travels in different countries, we have come across some very interesting signs for English speakers, translated by bilinguals, not Google translator, presumably – sometimes they are so inaccurate but at the same time hilariously funny that they often have me in stitches. For crying out loud, what the hell are they thinking when they put that sign up?
I’m listing dozens of such discoveries around the world which have been compiled, not by me, but some unknown stranger – it was something that came to my attention/email quite a while ago. I do not have the name of each sign spotters, hence I can’t give credit to them here. However, following a bit of shuffling and sorting by myself, I am hoping to put a smile on your face, making your work day a shade brighter by sharing a host of samples, from whatever languages into English. The outcome? You be the judge
Advert for donkey rides in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Advert by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Fun Hotels around the World
Hotel brochure in Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel lobby in Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel elevator in Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel in Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel in Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Using a hotel air conditioner in Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
Hotel room notice in Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM
Hotel in Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Hotel in Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Hotel in Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Can I Help You, Sir?
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
Cocktail lounge in Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY – NO ICE-CREAM.
From a menu in Poland:
SALAD A FIRM’S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE’S FASHION.
Let’s go travel & check out the signs!
On an Arctic River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Fight Illiteracy:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
From the “Soviet Weekly”:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
Tourist agency in Czech Republic:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING GOOD TIME.
Note for those needing translators – make sure that you get a professional translator, not the cowboy ones, in order to avoid being a laughing stock to a world-wide audience !
I hope you have enjoyed these wonderful signs in English – please share what you have seen in your travels. I would love to add more to my list
Here is a website for more Hilarious Chinese Signs in English and below.
Since the publication of the post this morning, here comes another one:
From a menu in a cafe near Warsaw PORK JOINT SAUTE WITH CHAMPIONIONS - spotted in July this year by Diana MH.
Another great find by Monita Hung below, discovered in Sanya, China: