A few months ago I shared a post on How Good Are Your English Translations? Hilarious English Signs Around the World – it generated many hearty laughters among my readers from all over the cyberspace. Today, I hope to create the same magic by making some of you burst into laughters, again and again – it’s just what we all need in a wintry, cold day like this. By the end of this post, I hope that no matter how bad your day/week has been, you would have been cheered up, by no other than these comments from ‘happy’ British holiday makers overseas.
Let’s go to India!
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store in Indian villages does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
“The roads were uneven..”
“I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite.”
Life is a beach/bitch?
“The beach was too sandy.”
“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
Sunny Spain, BUT No Siesta & Speak English Please!
“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”
“We had to queue outside with no air-conditioning.”
It Could Be Anywhere But Home
“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”
“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers — will we be OK staying there?”
“There was no egg-slicer in the apartment.”
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home.”
“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
Oh dear, for a brief moment, I thought that a gushing thank-you note was in order :).
The above are genuine complaints by the Brits taken from a Thomas Cook Holiday/ABTA Survey – originally shared by my G+ friend Vinay VNP, I have recompiled them, did further research and found a few more to share with you.
- A tourist at a top African Game Lodge over looking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.
- A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained that his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
- “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
Hey, mister, do you seriously expect to buy a genuine Ray-Ban for a fiver?
I have lived in the UK for a quarter of a century now and I know many of them enjoy travelling all over the world, seeking sunshine, adventure and sometimes just a short break from the norm. While I genuinely love their typical, often dry sense of humour, their tendency to constantly complain can be quite depressing, and in some cases, hilarious. Can you imagine working as for a travel company, and deal with complaints above? Do they make you smile or sigh?
They have certainly made me grin, giggle and laugh out loud. Have you come across any interesting, funny, silly complaints which you would like to share with us? Please share this post on if you want to make someone smile :). Thanks and stay happy!