Love is in the eyes of the beholder – do you believe this?
A while ago, I shared a post on WeChat titled “Why the Majority of Chinese Wives Married to Foreigners Are Not Pretty?” If you read Chinese, read the original post in three photography parts.
If you cannot read Chinese, I’ll summarise its contents for you. The basic premise is that the ugly Chinese women who are ‘leftovers’ after being already put through the selection process by Chinese men, end up dating and marrying American men. It argues that Chinese men tend not to look beyond the superficial, physical beauty to discover what’s inside, neither do they seek women who are their equals in terms of academics abilities and career successes.
It goes on to comment how American men are generous with their compliments towards their spouses hence making them feel more beautiful inside and out.
Other examples suggest how Chinese men differ in seeking partners, by showing off their own degrees, career achievements, economic status and property ownership etc, while the American counterparts are more likely to list their hobbies and personalities.
Anyway, on reading this post, one of my American friends on Facebook and WeChat wrote to me which I am sharing with you below:
An American Man’s Point of View
American men have a different opinion of what is ugly in regards to Chinese (or Asian women in general) vs Chinese men. For starters none of us unless we are married to a Chinese woman or spent years in close contact with Chinese are able to accurately guess a Chinese woman’s age. This is why.
Most American women visually age at rocket ship pace once they hit about 30 years of old. By the time they hit age 50 they look like a plump dried prune. There are few exceptions. American men do not age like that unless we lead an unhealthy lifestyle.
Chinese women visually age (in our eyes, mine at least) at a snails pace or not at all until at least age 50 and beyond. This appears to be the rule, not the exception. More often than not a 25 year old American man will look at a 40 or 45 year old Chinese woman and to him she looks the same age as himself or even younger. Even if told otherwise he will not believe it.
It is in most mens nature to be attracted to women that are younger (sometimes significantly) than they are. Using myself as an example, I am 54 and my Chinese wife is 52, but she still looks well under 40 years old to me and my friends. When we first met 9 years ago I thought she was no more than 25 years old. I refused to believe she was 43 even after seeing her birthdate on her passport and drivers license.
It is that appearance of youth that is the Chinese woman’s greatest asset with regard to American mens attraction. There is no 40 or 50 year old American woman that wouldn’t literally kill to look 25 again. The 40 to 50 year old Chinese woman still does look that young.
“With jet black hair mostly olive skin and dark eyes the advantage goes to the Chinese woman.”
Next is actual beauty. With jet black hair mostly olive skin and dark eyes the advantage goes to the Chinese woman. What a Chinese man considers an average looking Chinese woman and American man considers pretty. Think of two Chinese actresses. Lucy Liu and Bai Ling. Any Chinese man or woman I have ever asked thinks they are both ugly, especially Bai Ling. Any American man I have ever asked thinks they are both pretty. Now in comparison to my wife I think Lucy Liu is about average, but kind of weird looking. I think Bai Ling is ugly.
I also think Gong Li is still young looking and very pretty, minus what I always thought was a fake forced smile in all public appearances.
Personality: American men love that a Chinese woman shows appreciation for those little gentlemanly things he does (open doors, put on her coat, etc) where as most American women do not. He also loves that a Chinese woman is always trying to do things for him without him asking. The American woman? Hardly ever and if asked will sometimes even resist or refuse.
A Chinese wife will try to stop her American husband from doing chores like laundry or dishes. This only makes him want to do it more. (did I let out a secret?) The American wife will often just tell her husband to do these things and not always in a nice way. The Chinese woman is proud of her American husband and is always showing him off and bragging to her friends. The American wife? I think we all know that answer. Basically a Chinese wife has a much more pleasant personality.
Practicality: A Chinese woman is much better at monetary matters. They know how to budget and how to save and even know when it will be a better savings in the long run to buy the more expensive higher quality item. In my opinion unless the husband is an accountant he should let his Chinese wife handle most, if not all financial matters.
I could go on and on, but I think that will do. I will close with a word of warning that you can feel free to pass on.
If an American man is past 35 years old and has never been married there is probably a good reason for that. Tread carefully and do your research.
If an American man is 30 years old or older, never married and still living at home with his perfectly healthy parents you should probably run the other way.
If an American man has been divorced more than once there is probably a reason. He either makes really bad life decisions or is an asshole. Probably best to avoid him or hire a private investigator to background check him.
Okay that’s all. I’m done for now. You have my permission to use any or all of this provided you keep me anonymous.
Junying’s Final Note: Thanks for the permission, my friend. Do my readers agree with him? You don’t have to be an American or Chinese to join the debate :-).